So tomorrow's the BIG day! Turkey day!!My plans are to do as little as possible. I'm NOT cooking, I'm not going to any family member's home. I'm chillaxing, watching the parade, resting for SHOPPING FRIDAY!! My FAVORITE day of the year!! The early morning lines, the coffee, the rude people who try to cut in line, the crowds, the fights...................sigh............it's wonderful!! I love it! All of it!! Every little bit of it!! Funny cause as a rule, I'm not a big shopper. I would rather pull my finger nails out one by one than spend time in the mall!!! I don't know what it is about Black Friday, but it ROCKS!! The next best day of the year.........the day after Christmas!! Woo hoo!! I love Jesus and love celebrating his birth on Christmas day but I tell you what I praise his name for the AFTER Christmas sales that without him, would not be!!

Girls' Night Out.........Little Girls that is............

Ally is spending the night with Olivia tonight........a house full of 6 year old girls! They have been absolutely no trouble at all, well except for the ARGUING!! LOL! OMG! They argue like two little old ladies!! Seriously.........it's like living with two of the Golden Girls..........really, really small versions of the Golden Girls. No matter what one of them wants the other wants exactly the opposite!! They argued over what to have for dinner, what movie to see, what to play with, crayons or markers, dinner before the movie or after, pajamas or night gown..............you get the picture!!

We went to see Bolt tonight. It was really, really cute!! As it should have been considering we had to pay an EXTRA 2.00 per person for the 3D glasses! Tickets for the three of us, a popcorn, and three small drinks was $41.00!! HOLY COW!! And that's why we don't go to the movies more often!! Seriously I could have bought two or three DVDs for the same amount!!

Off now to referee the hooligans. They are arguing as to whether the TV should be off or on while they are going to sleep. A see a mini-meltdown in their very near future!!

The Nutcracker Cult...............Let the Brainwashing Begin!!

Just got back from another Nutcracker rehearsal. Holy cow! I feel like it's taking over our lives......like we've joined a cult...........DON'T drink the kool-aid!! While Liv was rehearsing, I was in a parent meeting. Good GRIEF, these people live and BREATH ballet!! I absolutely love it and I love how much Liv loves it BUT golly doodle we DO have a life outside of ballet!! Shhhhhh!! Don't tell them I said that................those people scare me!!

The Nutcracker Looms on the Horizon.....

We spent our morning at ballet as usual. Liv loves it so much. She woke with an upset tummy t about 5:30 this morning. When I said it didn't look like she would be able to go to ballet today, she FREAKED OUT!! Needless to say, she pulled it together and we went to ballet. She has rehearsal tomorrow and next Sunday,then dress rehearsal next Thursday and THEN her performances on sat and sun. She is still upset that she can't be in ALL the performances! LOL! She also has aspirations for the part of either Claire or the Sugarplum Fairy next year. I don't quite know how to tell her that she will be much too young for the role of Claire and the role of The Sugarplum Fairy goes to one of the PROFESSIONAL ballerinas!! Hey! Nothing wrong with having goals though!! Go for it baby girl!! I, of course, CAN'T wait to see her on stage!! You know there WILL be pictures posted in the very near future!! LOL! I was pleased to read in the paperwork that we CAN take pictures DURING the dress rehearsal with a non-flash camera. Thank goodness for the Nikon D-50 and my long lens!!

I think Drs are all crazy!!

Went to the rheumatologist today for my followup. I think that was the longest Dr visit I've EVER had...........OMG!! They did a bunch of x-rays and took TWELVE vials of blood and I guess I'll hear back about that soon. The crazy thing is that she diagnosed me with carpal tunnel syndrome and said she thinks I may have a spinal cord injury! WTH?? Don't you think I might have noticed something happening to me that might have caused a SPINAL CORD injury!! I am thinking that being a medical Dr and being a witch Dr are NOT very different after all. If she had shaken some chicken bones and looked at some smoke and danced around the office with feathers on her head and THEN told me the exact same thing it would have seemed no more plausible to me. And people think I'm crazy!! She wants me to go for physical therapy 2-3 times a week...............ummm, ok and I'll do that WHEN?? IDK.........all I wanted to know is why I'm so freaking tired and achy all the time and now I feel like this woman practically has me wheelchair bound. I quit!! Funny how this is all becoming rather humorous to me...........well as humorous as being stuck with a needle repeatedly and giving enough blood to feed a hungry vampire can be!!

Pity.........Party of One, Your Table is Ready!!

Well not to be the voice of doom again, but Tom emailed me last night. Things are not going well for him and he is thinking about the possibility of moving back home. Sigh...............I completely understand BUT, and I KNOW this is selfish, the last thing in the world I wanted or needed right now was to loose him also with everything else going on in my life. Honestly, he was one of the few bright spots left, my kids and friends being the others. I am just feeling sad and scared and very, very lonely.

I am just having a great big old pity party for myself right now and everyone is invited!! BYOB!!

Seriously, I am valiantly trying to still see the humor or at the very least the IRONY in all this but man it's getting harder and harder!

I have a follow up with the Rheumatologist on Thursday.............of course it's on the SAME DAY that I'm supposed to have an all day professional learning day with another teacher and the school's ILT. Although I am sure she won't be happy that I'm missing half of it, my health comes first. I've been reading a lot about Systemic Lupus, which is the type that I might have.......I'm going with MIGHT until I get verification from specialist, and it looks like I have to look forward to a lifetime of maintenance meds and lifestyle changes. That's fine, I can DEAL with that if I actually begin to FEEL better. What I can't deal with is feeling like I'm walking through quicksand every single day, being so exhausted that I can't enjoy any of the things that I used to, and hurting so much that the possibility of every being active again seems like it will never happen. I just want to feel normal. Fortunately, I have wonderful friends and family who will support me through this journey. I will admit that I was a bit frustrated with my mom last night. I know she means well, BUT it seems like every single time we discuss this, it turns into a pissing contest of who feels the worst. Seriously?? I'm JUST venting and trying to process all this and I really just need her to LISTEN!! She also told me that she "didn't think it was a healthy attitude to automatically assume that I HAVE Lupus." This statement really ticked me off since I am NOT assuming anything, I sat in my DR's office and went over the test results with her! I think I am being very realistic, gathering information and thinking about the changes I will have to make to my life. Also part of the way I process things like this is by talking about it! I literally make connections and have the ability to see the "big picture" as well as the details more easily through TALKING!! GC!! Just let me TALK already!

Lupus?? Seriously??

I went back to the dr. yesterday to find out the results of all the testing they did earlier in the week. Apparently some of my bloodwork came back "abnormal" and they wouldn't tell me the results over the phone...........that's always scarey!! I mean SERIOUSLY! Just tell me already you know! Well I had myself thoroughly convinced that it was my thyroid test that was screwed up............it does run the the family..............but lo and behold.............NO............it was the LUPUS test! Or part of it anyway. She is pretty concerned and is sending me to a rheumatologist for more testing. She said said she THOUGHT it was Lupus but she couldn't be sure.......then she told me a story about a man who came in "with symptoms just like yours" and she goes on to say that his test result was just like mine also. She sent him for more testing and "it was one of those one in a million things that no one has ever heard of!" Well THANKS Dr. Smith..........that makes me feel SOOOOO much better!! So final verdict from her is a "rheumatic disease" that affects the joints and muscles but definately NOT Rheumatiod Artherits and most likely Lupus. How's that for a definitive answer?? I know I sound snarky..........and I REALLY am being snarky BUT even with this less that definate diagnosis, at least she found something and didn't just tell me, "You're depressed. Here's a pill......now go away." Which is how I felt my previous dr. treated me. I don't even really KNOW how to explain how I'm feeling right now; scared, anxious, even a bit relieved. Relieved because if there is a possible diagnosis then there is something that can be done about it!

Sigh...............

I went to the Dr on Monday to hopefully figure out what the heck is WRONG with me! Yeah.......don't respond to that! LOL! I mean PHYSICALLY! Anyway after six years of feeling like crap on a daily basis and getting the run around from drs, maybe just maybe this new doc has some sense and can figure things out. She actually LISTENED and took me seriously! Imagine that! So anyway, she did a whole bunch of bloodwork (I still have the hideous bruise to prove it) and they called me yesterday to tell me that some of it came back "abnormal." Of course they wouldn't tell me anything more over the phone. I have to go back in tomorrow to hear the final verdict. Since they tested me for Lupus, Rheumatoid Artheritis and Thyroid levels, I am assuming Thryroid since THAT actually seems to run in my family. Anyway! As much as I DON'T want there to be anything wrong with me (yeah don't say anything!) at least with a diagnosis maybe there is a treatment that will actually WORK and have me feeling semi-normal again. Of course the way MY luck runs, she'll say "you have the extremely rare wikijunglewacko fever and there is no treatment or cure except for this extrememly expensive experimental medicine that your insurance doesn't cover! LOL! Yeah, that would ONLY happen to me!!

November Updates

Wow! It's been awile since I've been here. Updates...........I finished the photography class I was taking. Learned a lot. There are two more that I want to take after Christmas. Hopefully I will have both the time and the money to do so.

Now I am taking Jessica Sprague's Stories in Hand class online. It's really interesting so far. It's more about journaling and recording the important stories in your life than it is about scrapbooking. As I understand it, scrapping is only one option for recording those stories. You could blog, keep a journal, videos, etc. Anything is acceptable as long as your stories are getting told.